British summer time, fucking yes!
Now, i like my food. For instance, today i had a cheese and ham panini for a snack then went over to Morrisons and got a chicken nugget and fries meal then i had a sausage roll and then four cheese sandwiches and a chocolate bar, grapes and crisps for my lunch. And we havent even got to tea yet! But you get the picture, that i like my food. BUT, i dont see myself as what some people call; a fatty. Now in my view, there are two types of fatties, the ones that are ‘happy go lucky’ “pass us a pie!! who gives a shit!! i’ll be dead before i’m 50, LETS HAVE A LAUGH!!”. *What about diabetes??* “It’ll make me exotic”. “If i lose a leg thats two stone and a blue badge! HAPPY DAYS!!” There the nice sort of fat people, if i ever became a fatty thats what i would be like. Then theres the other sort of fat people. Women. Not all women, just the proper massive ones. The ones you see on Jeremy Kyle. The sort that have got to get leggins on prescription. I personally find that the larger person is the more entertaining person to have in your company, just a little thing to think about!
I found it absolutly astonishing the other day to learn that your not aloud to go to the toilet on a train whilst it is still stopped in the station. So if the trains wobbling about a bit and your thinking you’ll wait until it stops at the next station, dont bother - you’ll have to hope your balance has improved since the last time you tried. It’s the 21st century for christ sake! When a plane screeches over our heads we dont automatically run inside and shut all the windows incase someone flushes the toilet 36000 feet up and golden rain suddenly starts falling from the heavens. No. Airplanes have virtually there own sewers on board, so why don’t trains? It’s not like they have to bother about saving weight on trains as it doesn’t have to fly! If they can fit a small sewage works onto a plane then i’m pretty sure they can nail one to the back of a train. Trains really are lacking in modernisation, it’s the 21st century and were still crapping on the tracks.
The London Underground is one of my pet hates. In theory moving London’s commuters underground to relieve congestion is a fantastic idea; but practically its… well lets be kind, lets just say ‘its not that great’. People are so desperate to get to work or to get home. The trains come very regularly; you see the signs, 1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes but this means nothing to people. As soon as you get on the platform its a level playing field. No one cares who arrived first there just determined to get on that train. You can see everyone wandering where the doors going to stop. You see people gathering in one place and someone standing on there own a way off, and then people start to gather around him because they think he knows! No one knows where the doors are going to stop on the underground; thats just a fact. Not even the train drivers know. British people seem to have a great ability to let people off the train first whilst at all times edging slowly forwards. And when your finally on the train you dont care about other people. “Move right down inside the carriage”, “Uhh no, why would i do that? it will be squashed in here!” You look at other people and your all thinking the same thought, ‘were on, we don’t need them.’ And everyone’s reading. You have to read, you cannot be on the tube without reading something. If you get on in the morning every single person is reading the Metro. Why doesn’t one person just read it to the carriage?! Overall the tube is just a horrible, nasty, smell, noisy, hot and generally uncomfortable place to be. If i were you i would try and avoid it at all cost, i certainly do! Take a taxi, or a bus! Or be preductive and buy a helicopter.
The invention of the airplane enabled people to travel further distances. The invention of the jet engine however enabled people to travel faster and quite simply turned the world into a village. You could wake up in your New York apartment and that same evening you could be sunning it on a beach somewhere in the Mediterranean all thanks to the invention if the jet engine. Like many things, airplanes are something that the modern day world take for granted, but if you actually stop and think like I did, as you sit in a cool and relaxed environment with a favorite film on the screen in front and sipping a refreshing beverage 36000 feet above ground and traveling at over 500 miles an hour then you quickly realise what an engineering marvel the airplane as a whole and the jet engine itself is.
Yet another year of utter crap and miserable music broadcasted across Europe in the contestants hope that they will reach celebrity fame by wearing spangly jackets, last seasons trousers and singing in languages that only people from that country can understand! Someone should really tell them its a popularity contest….
Friends are people that pick you up when the whole world seems to have cast you down. However, Best Friends are those who share in the stongest possible kind of friendship. They are those who are always there, honest, understanding, caring, loving, trustworthy and most importantly there someone that you can share a laugh with - even if they do drive you round the bend sometimes. Best friends are people that shouldnt be taken for granted and should be held on to for a very long time. So all thats left to say is ‘Thank You’ for being there when we need someone to talk to and place our tust in.
through good times and bad
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you’re there to listen,
you’re there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you’ll be there,
throughout the years!
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” ~ Arnold H. Glasgow
“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
Bus drivers have to have had a pretty bad life to end up where they are. People say that bin men have a hard and disgusting job but that’s nothing compared to having to concentrate on the hard enough job of driving a bus with the constant distractions of loud mouthed teenagers and food fights going on just behind there left ear. BIFFA has announced today that’s it’s giving it’s employees free Blackberry mobiles so they “know where they are and can keep in contact with there base”. Great. Brilliant. Very good. But what do bus drives get? All they get is a landfill sites worth of left litter to clear up and a rolled up porn mag! And the you know the best bit? the only time you see a bus driver smile and wave is when another bus goes in the opposite direction! it’s like they have there own little community, a special driving force showing that GCSE’s don’t have to matter in life, all you need is a driving license and a copy of The Sun.
Summer isnt a word used very often in the UK, its thought of and wished for alto but it hardly ever actually happens. The British summer, it has been said, consists of two fine days and a thunderstorm. Most of the summers we experience in Britain lurk somewhere between these two extremes: they usually contain one or two of those mini-heatwaves followed by thunderstorms, but with plenty of indifferent weather in between.
From the Met Office:
“The coming summer is expected to be a ‘typical British summer’, according to long-range forecasts issued today. Summer temperatures across the UK are more likely to be warmer than average and rainfall near or above average for the three months of summer.
However, the risk of exceptional rainfall on the same scale as the summer of last year remains a very low probability. The Met Office is continuing to work with the Environment Agency, SEPA and others across government to ensure that we are ready to meet the challenges that severe weather may present us at any time of the year.”
So basically it could be sunny or it could be raining and miserable. Great forcast there then!
Whatever happens, this weekend is looking to be the hottest this year and thats just fine by me!!